I died.

Just recently, in fact. I think it was... Twenty...Five[?] Hours ago now? Not sure, just around 7pm Central Time yesterday. How ever long ago it was, I died. I was dead, and now I'm not.

I don't know why or how I came back, so don't even bother asking. There are a million different reasons, and I'll tell you when I find out the real one.

But I bet your wondering how I died, right? Well, to tell you the truth... It was either the bottle of pills I took or the fall right after that that killed me. Yea, I know the pills was a dumb thing to do. But the fall wasn't really my fault.

I was in a tree, hiding. I was fed up with everyone so I grabbed a nearby bottle --which I thought was my soda-- and ran to a nearby tree. In a park a few blocks away. But I was up there, and I looked at the bottle and I almost had a fit because I grabbed pills, not my soda. So I decided "Why Not? Right?" Well, I took a few too many and I lost my grip on the tree.

Not good because on my way down, I hit my head on one of the branches and blacked out immedently. I woke up, a dull stinging on the back of my head, on the ground, people were every where. I tried to tell them that I was okay, and to get away. But they didn't. And I tried to move my hand to push them away, and all I could do was twitch my hand. Not good just went to worse.

Well, I've gained most of my control and I can now type! Not fast, and not well, but I can still type. But I can't really move much else, so I can't really talk or any thing.

Because of all this, I decided to start a new blog for the story of my undead life. Check it out. Oh, and there's another blog out there alot like the same, but I don't think I should tell you.

ONE LAST THING BEFORE YOU QUIT LISTENING! I would suggest reading Generation Dead. A book by Daniel Waters. It's good and gives a good idea of what happened to me during my 'black out' phase..

Science Class.

I'm currently in Science class right now... Pretty boring seeing as I'v finished and we have two[?] days left to work on a project. I should really slow down on the computer.. Hmm..

Nothing seems to have gone wrong recently other then my friend has "Broken up" with me. Well, I "Broke up" with her. But recently she asked to be my friend again and I couldn't say no. I was really upset with her and so I just said "Sure."

Have you ever not wanted something as much as you wanted it? It's really confuzing.

Lets see if I can get on Gaia from School?!

wow...

this is amazing! nothing bad has happened since i last posted!! (knock on wood!)

wow, this is great, what has it been, ten days???
alls well that ends well i guess!

[rolling eyes]

okay, everyone wants me to stay off my knee, but seriously people, im just fine!!!!

well, i needed to complain about that a little bit. i now only have 2 things to say.
1:
i have a sister, shes younger then me, but im scared [and if you tell anyone i will deny it to the grave]. its hard to think about it, but what will happen to her when she grows up. shes irresponsible, loud, obnoxious, dosnt listen to what anyone or anything says, and thinks the world revolves around her. my parents think its just a stage, but i dont think so, shes been acting like this scince i can remember... ugh.



2:
im writing a book! its called remembering and one of my friends is helping me write it... i'll post my chapters in another blog for you to read... tell me if you like it. so far i have only typed chapters 1-4 but i have 6 and 1/2 written, but my editor and jade keep stealing it. i dont believe it [im being sarcastic].

my knee...

hurts. really bad. but i just took the medicen thats supposed to fix that. i had my surgery yesterday, thats why it hurts so bad. and its driving me nuts. i cant walk, i cant bring things to my own room because its downstairs, my back hurts because i got the epidural(the numbing from the waist down).

ugh...

lets look on the bright side! i get to miss school for almost a whole week. i dont have anyhomework because i got it done earlier (i got it on friday), and then i get all the attention because i had surgery... i dont like attention, so im going nuts...

im not a very happy camper today... rawer.

I know im not alone, quit telling me that!!! #>.<#

ok, i now know a few people who think i just whine alot on here. i do not! and if i did, they dont have to read it if they dont want to! this is just the only way for me to tell whats going on in my life, get answers and move on- without the guidence office yelling at me!

sorry, had to get that off my chest. but they dont even know whats happend in my past to make me like this.so if your going to comment, try to at least be polite, and not "your not alone, stop whining".

and if you do post that, i dont care, im not going to stop doing what im doing. ok? this is keeping me on the sane side of my mind.

why cant i sleep?

im tired. dead on my feet. but not tired mentally.ugh. *rolls eyes*


has any one heard the song, i'm just a kid ?:


well thats kinda how my life is seeming right now. *sigh*

does anyone have a way to go mentally brain dead? that doesnt include drugs (yes that includes you katy...-.-)

ugh... can i SCREAM???

today is the last day of school before my surgery. so i had to get all my work. yadda Adda Adda. well by now, the whole school knows about this. no big. im old news, like always...

but other then that, my friend who i call Brittychan (pronounced Brit-E-chon) and my other friend called Sammychan (p. Sam-me-chon) are fighting.

again.

this time though, there making me and jade choose sides!
we cant do that. jade and i are both of their friends. i say if the make us split up, jade will go with sammychan and i will go with brittychan. before anyone objects, listen why!!!:

jade and i are bffeae,tddup. (for those poor souls who have not a creative bone in there body, that means best Friends for ever and ever, till death do us part. don''ask). so that means we will keep brittychan and sammychan together.

but i dont think that will work. this time brittychan cried. she never cries. only when something has gone really wrong. this time is different. Britt's really hurt. but she loves sammychan like only a best friend could.

i want to help because brittychan's helped jade and i through the rough patches...

Sammy's not good for her, but she cant help it. they get each other. they both have major problems at home. and support each other no matter what. they understand what it feels like to be to the point of sui'y because they've both been there.

i dont know what to do.

like my title says:

ugh... can i scream???

My knee

has been hurting scince basicly june/july. so i have reason to go to the doctor. well when i went there, they gave me an mri because they said i didnt have a broken bone or anything.

well instead they decide i need surgery.
on my knee.

they gave me three options.
1: go full under, dont wake up at all untill almost 2 hours later. theres always a chance of death.
i said no to that one. really fast.

2: go partially under. basically you go to la-la land, you cant feel anything, and you dont remember anything...

3:go numb from the waist down. i thought this was a good one, no pain, no amnesia, no loopy-ess, no chance of death....

but no ones asked me what i want to do, so they think i want to go full under... gr.

any one have experience with this(thats not a doctor)?

jade

ok, i found out why she isn't talking to me: she thinks I'm superficial enough to actually care what she WEARS. why in the world would i care what my best friend wears?!?!?! she thinks I'm not talking to her because i think she should wear black! i don't care what color she wears! i want her to cover up! that's what i was getting at when i wrote her that note! i said "dressing like that." and i was referring to what she was wearing earlier that morning. she had been wearing a spaghetti strap shirt that she had to pull up every 5 minutes!. ugh, if she thinks I'm superficial enough to care that she wears pink then maybe she doesn't know me well enough. I'm trying to keep from dieing and she thinks its about colors! now i want to cry SO bad it hurts...

twilight...

ok, whos read the twilight series? am i the only one? well heres my take on the series:

1-bella:

• nice girl.
• hangs out with the wrong crowd.
• might have schizophrenia.
• has a messed up mind.

2-Edward:

• one of the good guys.
• beautiful in every way possible.
• could be one of the made up characters by Bella's schizophrenia...?
• can read minds

3- Jasper:

• another schizo. made up
• still beautiful.
• can make your emotions change at will.
• isn't that sneaky.
• is a master of any emotion.
• loves Alice

4-Rosalie:

• pig-headed.
• beautiful (especially physically).
• has had major pain in the past.
• is smart.
• hates being a vampire more then the rest.
• loves Emmet

5-Alice:

• is very dangerous (more then the rest).
• can see the future.
• loves cars.
• very stylish...
• loves jasper

6-Emmet:

• the strongest.
• very jolly.
• loves Rosalie

7-Dr. carlisle:

smart.

• the oldest of the Cullen's/hales
• adopted father of the younger Cullen's/hales
• works at a hospital, with blood, but can somehow resist blood?

8-Esme:

• beautiful.
• motherly.
• smart.

thats all we really know about the cullens and hales. and doesnt my schizophrenic look on things work? i mean, look at every detail, shes being attacked, she is special... look everything works out for schizophrenia! although i hope its not , because i love Edward too much, and how would Bella react to taking those pills, and making him go away... ugh. i dont know, maybe she is, maybe shes not.

my friends

one hates me, one doesnt talk to me, one just "broke up" with me, and one wants to replace the one that "broke up" with me. now i'm confuzed and lost and want more books so i can leave this life. just for a little while... oh well...