I know im not alone, quit telling me that!!! #>.<#

ok, i now know a few people who think i just whine alot on here. i do not! and if i did, they dont have to read it if they dont want to! this is just the only way for me to tell whats going on in my life, get answers and move on- without the guidence office yelling at me!

sorry, had to get that off my chest. but they dont even know whats happend in my past to make me like this.so if your going to comment, try to at least be polite, and not "your not alone, stop whining".

and if you do post that, i dont care, im not going to stop doing what im doing. ok? this is keeping me on the sane side of my mind.

why cant i sleep?

im tired. dead on my feet. but not tired mentally.ugh. *rolls eyes*


has any one heard the song, i'm just a kid ?:


well thats kinda how my life is seeming right now. *sigh*

does anyone have a way to go mentally brain dead? that doesnt include drugs (yes that includes you katy...-.-)

ugh... can i SCREAM???

today is the last day of school before my surgery. so i had to get all my work. yadda Adda Adda. well by now, the whole school knows about this. no big. im old news, like always...

but other then that, my friend who i call Brittychan (pronounced Brit-E-chon) and my other friend called Sammychan (p. Sam-me-chon) are fighting.

again.

this time though, there making me and jade choose sides!
we cant do that. jade and i are both of their friends. i say if the make us split up, jade will go with sammychan and i will go with brittychan. before anyone objects, listen why!!!:

jade and i are bffeae,tddup. (for those poor souls who have not a creative bone in there body, that means best Friends for ever and ever, till death do us part. don''ask). so that means we will keep brittychan and sammychan together.

but i dont think that will work. this time brittychan cried. she never cries. only when something has gone really wrong. this time is different. Britt's really hurt. but she loves sammychan like only a best friend could.

i want to help because brittychan's helped jade and i through the rough patches...

Sammy's not good for her, but she cant help it. they get each other. they both have major problems at home. and support each other no matter what. they understand what it feels like to be to the point of sui'y because they've both been there.

i dont know what to do.

like my title says:

ugh... can i scream???

My knee

has been hurting scince basicly june/july. so i have reason to go to the doctor. well when i went there, they gave me an mri because they said i didnt have a broken bone or anything.

well instead they decide i need surgery.
on my knee.

they gave me three options.
1: go full under, dont wake up at all untill almost 2 hours later. theres always a chance of death.
i said no to that one. really fast.

2: go partially under. basically you go to la-la land, you cant feel anything, and you dont remember anything...

3:go numb from the waist down. i thought this was a good one, no pain, no amnesia, no loopy-ess, no chance of death....

but no ones asked me what i want to do, so they think i want to go full under... gr.

any one have experience with this(thats not a doctor)?

jade

ok, i found out why she isn't talking to me: she thinks I'm superficial enough to actually care what she WEARS. why in the world would i care what my best friend wears?!?!?! she thinks I'm not talking to her because i think she should wear black! i don't care what color she wears! i want her to cover up! that's what i was getting at when i wrote her that note! i said "dressing like that." and i was referring to what she was wearing earlier that morning. she had been wearing a spaghetti strap shirt that she had to pull up every 5 minutes!. ugh, if she thinks I'm superficial enough to care that she wears pink then maybe she doesn't know me well enough. I'm trying to keep from dieing and she thinks its about colors! now i want to cry SO bad it hurts...

twilight...

ok, whos read the twilight series? am i the only one? well heres my take on the series:

1-bella:

• nice girl.
• hangs out with the wrong crowd.
• might have schizophrenia.
• has a messed up mind.

2-Edward:

• one of the good guys.
• beautiful in every way possible.
• could be one of the made up characters by Bella's schizophrenia...?
• can read minds

3- Jasper:

• another schizo. made up
• still beautiful.
• can make your emotions change at will.
• isn't that sneaky.
• is a master of any emotion.
• loves Alice

4-Rosalie:

• pig-headed.
• beautiful (especially physically).
• has had major pain in the past.
• is smart.
• hates being a vampire more then the rest.
• loves Emmet

5-Alice:

• is very dangerous (more then the rest).
• can see the future.
• loves cars.
• very stylish...
• loves jasper

6-Emmet:

• the strongest.
• very jolly.
• loves Rosalie

7-Dr. carlisle:

smart.

• the oldest of the Cullen's/hales
• adopted father of the younger Cullen's/hales
• works at a hospital, with blood, but can somehow resist blood?

8-Esme:

• beautiful.
• motherly.
• smart.

thats all we really know about the cullens and hales. and doesnt my schizophrenic look on things work? i mean, look at every detail, shes being attacked, she is special... look everything works out for schizophrenia! although i hope its not , because i love Edward too much, and how would Bella react to taking those pills, and making him go away... ugh. i dont know, maybe she is, maybe shes not.